Rudolph the Red-faced Republican

12/14/2004

We begin this post with an expression of eternal gratitude to the White House vetting team for a hilarious remedy for the Post Election Blues. Seriously, could they have screwed up the Bernard Kerik nomination any worse? Groucho, Harpo and Zeppo could not have topped this. I don’t know where to begin.

In one fell swoop they embarrassed the boss, botched the most important appointment on the “things-to-do” list, sowed seeds of discontent among the faithful, and lit a fire under the Democrats. Inside the Beltway, that’s called a train wreck. And I don’t care where the fingers are pointing, this was a breathtaking display of Presidential incompetence.

But if there’s one thing that Bush is better at than “misunderestimating” WMD, it’s shifting the blame. And, for the moment, it’s Rudy Giuliani in red face over the debacle. Worse yet, this thing has a lingering stench that will be sniffed in many quarters.

Rudy bravely faced the cameras and apologized for recommending Kerik to replace Tom Ridge as secretary of homeland security. Yet Rudy’s mea culpa did not resolve the larger question: how in the name of Osama could the Administration put Kerik forward without checking him out?

With very little effort, the media have produced evidence that Kerik was the subject of an arrest warrant, had been interviewed about possible mob connections, had potentially abused his position as New York police commissioner, and employed an illegal immigrant. And then there’s the apparent simultaneous extramarital affairs with two women and spectacularly lucrative stock option sales–but that would be piling on.

Please, someone convince me that Bush is serious about the Department of Homeland Security. Ridge, the lame-duck DHS Secretary, is a highly respected former U.S. Representative, Governor of Pennsylvania and war hero. Kerik, the replacement, frankly looks like he has a greater future in professional wrestling than official Washington and, based on what we’ve learned so far, may be the most ethically challenged nominee since they put telephones in the Oval Office.

Once we stop giggling, we should commence trembling because this is scary. This is the same President that receives a briefing entitled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike the U.S.” and goes golfing. (It’s worth noting that the woman in charge of national security at the time has been promoted to Secretary of State, but that’s a topic for another day.)

In the short-term, the Bernard Kerik genie is out of the bottle and the press will soon be beating a trail to Rudy’s doorstep. Giuliani, you see, has a little more going on than a friendship with Kerik. He’s a Senior Vice President at Giuliani Partners and is Chief Executive Officer of Giuliani-Kerik LLC. In other words, since 9/11 they’ve made a zillion dollars together selling services to a who’s who of public and private clients.

I’m not suggesting that anything underhanded is going on–but if it is you can bet that’s the headline of the next news cycle. At best, it’s an interesting choice of business partners.

Meantime, the chattering class is starting to whisper about Rudy’s future. You can tell the Republicans are nervous because they aren’t on Fox screaming like banshees. And one thing that’s for certain, until this plays out–they won’t let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games.

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